This book is a great starting point if you are struggling with communicating with your younger child. It is written by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. Gary Chapman has a series of books that include the 5 Love Languages series.
The 5 Love Languages – How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
The 5 Love Languages – The Secret to Love that Lasts
The 5 Love Languages – of Children
The 5 Love Languages – of Teenagers
The 5 Love Languages – Singles Edition
The 5 Love Languages – for Men
The 5 Love Languages – Military Edition
The premise of all of the 5 Love Language books
The premise of all of the 5 Love Language books is that we all give and receive love differently. And we all need to feel loved and heard in different ways. The author breaks this down into 5 love languages. We all have a primary language.
In particular, in the children’s edition can your children feel the love you have for them in a way that truly resonates with each of them?
If you have multiple children then you may find that each person has their own love language, which differs from others. We are all unique after all. It is even possible that we have two love languages primary and secondary. The same is true for our children.
What you’ll get from this book
The ability to connect on a deeper level with your children in regards to how they feel loved. Of course, you love them, but this is about having them feel your love in the way that they need. Or as the author calls it having a full love tank. Is it empty or full? The work comes in keeping it full.
I personally have referenced this book when having communication issues and behavior issues with my children. I have found that when someone is lashing out or getting into trouble, it’s because I have not met their needs in their primary love language. Once I make this change the results in behavior changes and seeing how happy they almost immediately become, always fills my heart.
When a child’s love tank is empty and attention is the only thing that will fill it, that child will go to almost any length to get what she needs.
The 5 Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
This book and all of Gary Chapman’s books are rooted in Christianity and do have references throughout the book. If this makes you uncomfortable and you’d rather not read a book that references the bible then this may not be for you. However, I find that the overall message is more about learning communication skills and becoming better people by loving our person/children in ways that fill them up.
What are the Five Love Languages of Children?
Physical Touch
Your child loves to receive hugs and affection, and the like.
The language of touch is not confined to a hug or kiss but includes any kind of physical contact. Even when they are busy, parents can often gently touch a child on the back, arm, or shoulder.
The 5 Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
Words of Affirmation
Giving your child encouraging and positive words will fill their love tank, while criticism and speaking out of anger cause deep hurt.
In communicating love, words are powerful. Words of affection and endearment, words of praise and encouragement, words that give positive guidance all say, “I care about you.”
The 5 Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
Gifts
Does your child love to receive gifts? This doesn’t have to mean monetary or luxury gift-giving. This can be a teddy bear you got for them, a birthday card, or something you made for them. They have these gifts displayed and will cherish them deeply. This child will also love to give gifts such as drawing a picture, giving you a flower, and so on.
A true gift is not payment for services rendered; rather, it is an expression of love for the individual and is freely given by the donor.
The 5 Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
Quality Time
Quality time is focused, undivided attention.
Quality time is a parent’s gift of presence to a child. It conveys this message: “You are important. I like being with you.”
The 5 Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
Acts of Service
This can be your child asking you to help with fixing a toy, making their bed or helping them with homework.
If your child’s primary love language is acts of service, this does not ean that you jump at every request. It does mean that you should be extremely sensitive to those requests and recognize that your respone will either help fill the child’s love tank or else puncture the tank.
The 5 Love Languages of Children, Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
My Thought on the Book
If you are looking for a way to better connect with your children or simply any person, then this book is a must-read. The book gives many different scenarios to determine the primary love language and how to use this in everyday interactions.
In addition to learning the 5 love languages, you will also be given a test to spot your child’s love language. I think depending on your child’s age you can just ask them. Give them the descriptions of each and they can tell you pretty quickly. Although in the book it is recommended to not do this but rather deciphers for yourself. However, my kids were able to tell me once I reviewed each language. I found them to be right on.
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Bonus Reading
The Kindle version of this book offers excerpts from 8 Simple tools for raising great kids, 8 Great Smarts Discover and Nurture Your Child’s Intelligences, and No More Perfect Moms books.
Keep turning those pages! On to the next chapter. 📖
